I surrendered my free will to finally control my debt

PREVIOUS STEP:  How finding a Higher Power helped me kill my debt

What I learned:

• I was not used to being honest about money. I was going to have to get used to it.
• My will is (sometimes) a little bit like a devil on my shoulder whispering seductive nonsense in my ear. It says things like: “you’re better now, you don’t have to go to meetings anymore; you can get another credit card, you’ve learned how to handle it now; you have to buy those shoes right now and they will make your life perfect.” When I hear this kind of nonsense now, I just say “Thanks for sharing, I have turned my will over to a Higher Power now.”
• This isn’t a one-time step. I can’t just say oh, OK, I took Step Three, I’m done. Every time I reach out to someone in the program, do service, return a phone call, share in a meeting…. I’m doing Step Three. It’s kind of like going to the gym. I don’t really want to do it, but I do it anyway or my body would be a wreck. Same with Step Three. If I didn’t practice it, my life would be a wreck.

Tips on what to do:

• Is your money behaviour making you anxious, miserable, despairing? OK. Admit the will is a powerful force. It can be used to justify all sorts of nonsense. Like getting a new credit card when you can’t make payments on the old one.
• Understand that the will can be harnessed and redirected for good. But it’s hard to do that on your own. Again, back to step one. Are you powerless? Good. Step Two. Can you believe in something better and bigger than you that can restore you to sanity? Great. Step Three asks that you ask others, and Higher Power, for help in doing this. Don’t worry. It gets easier with practice.
• Ask people who have serenity in this area how they use their will now. How do they “turn it over?”

Read the full Debt Diaries series:

Step 1: ‘I was trying to fix my pain with spending‘ Step 2:  ‘My higher power cares about money’ Step 3:  ‘I surrendered my free will to finally control my debt’ Step 4: Stop blaming other people Step 5: Admit what got you into this mess Step 6: Why spending money makes you feel special  Step 7: Ask a higher power to remove your defects Step 8: Make a list of the people you’ve harmed Step 9: Make amends to those you’ve hurt Step 10: My money problems can’t be fixed by reading ‘The Wealthy Barber’ Step 11: How meditating helps me with my debt problem Step 12: My urge to binge shop won’t go away