How finding a Higher Power helped me kill my debt

PREVIOUS STEP: ‘I was trying to fix my pain with spending‘

What I learned:

• I could make up my own Higher Power. If I didn’t believe in God, fine, but I had to believe in something other than myself and my own cleverness. I could believe in the program, in the meetings, in my sponsor, in the Protestant God my grandparents believed in. Just not me and my own ability to “figure it out.”
• Everyone’s concept of a higher power is different. And that’s fine. Again, doesn’t matter. Just has to be outside your own head.
• Believing in a Higher Power didn’t make me stupid or weak. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results was crazy. I needed to believe in something bigger.
• My Higher Power cares about money. I initially thought a Higher Power was too lofty and ethereal to care about my bank balance. But in time I realized that a benevolent Higher Power did not want to see me in financial chaos over and over again.

Tips on what to do:

• Become open to the idea that you need help
• Go to meetings; any 12 step will do
• Find someone who has changed in this area using spiritual means
• Ask them how they did it
• Quit the debating society; have an open mind
• Listen to new ideas and try them out; is there wisdom in new perspectives? If so it might be, gasp, from a Higher Power
• Figure out a source of wisdom for you that is not yourself, your friend, your spouse. Something big and benevolent, and not human. For some it’s nature; regular church, traditional Judeo Christian God, or the 12-step group they attend
• If you have a bad history with religion, write out what a benevolent higher power might look like for you. If you grew up with a punitive god, you need a forgiving one. If you grew up with an absentee one, you need a reliable, punctual one.

Read the full Debt Diaries series:

Step 1: ‘I was trying to fix my pain with spending‘ Step 2:  ‘My higher power cares about money’ Step 3:  ‘I surrendered my free will to finally control my debt’ Step 4: Stop blaming other people Step 5: Admit what got you into this mess Step 6: Why spending money makes you feel special  Step 7: Ask a higher power to remove your defects Step 8: Make a list of the people you’ve harmed Step 9: Make amends to those you’ve hurt Step 10: My money problems can’t be fixed by reading ‘The Wealthy Barber’ Step 11: How meditating helps me with my debt problem Step 12: My urge to binge shop won’t go away