Prioritizing debt over discretionary spending
“I had to really be mindful with money and it was the first time that I had loans,” said the 28-year-old. “What I find challenging is, at my age, a lot of my friends are already established in their careers, so they’re not living on a student budget,” Reid-Ginis said. “I find that I often have to explain or, like, remind them of what it’s like to be living on so little money.”
Tough choices for students in Canada—how to talk about not having the money
As many Canadians continue to feel the pressure on their budget from the high cost of living, they’re having to make tough choices in how they spend their money. This could include having to forgo going out with friends, which could lead to tensions between friends or lost friendships.
“I feel like people still don’t talk about money,” said Jeri Bittorf, a financial wellness co-ordinator with Resolve Counselling Services Canada. She often hears stories from clients who feel ashamed that they can’t keep up with their friends’ spending and outings, Bittorf said. “You might have a friend circle where you’re so used to going out to eat together or … going to concerts together,” she said. “A lot of whatever it is that you’re doing involves money.”
Bittorf said people are often afraid, embarrassed or feel judged when telling their friends they can’t afford to go out. “I guarantee you, if you’re experiencing this, most likely a number of your friends are also experiencing this,” she said. “It just takes that one person to start that conversation.”
Bittorf recalled her experience with her girlfriends when planning a weekend getaway. A mother of three, Bittorf knew there were upcoming expenses related to her kids that she had to factor into her budget. She gently brought up priorities and boundaries to the group, which eventually led to settling for a vacation everyone could enjoy.
Sometimes, Bittorf said, it’s a matter of how the conversation goes with friends. “It’s really about allowing yourself to be vulnerable to people you’re closest with and being honest,” Bittorf said.
She explained it starts with laying out facts you could be noticing—“I noticed that we’re going out to eat a lot,” or “We’re going out to a lot of concerts right now.” Then, expressing how it makes you feel, Bittorf said: “I’m worried that if I continue to do this, I might end up going further into debt… because my financial situation is different from yours.”
Can you prioritize friendships and a budget? It depends
Figure out how much you are willing to spend on going out with friends and communicate it to them, she added. Bittorf said transparency about financial situations can open doors to brainstorming ideas for spending time together without always having to spend money. “If you just keep saying, ‘No, I can’t afford it,’ the other person might think that you don’t want to find another solution,” she said.
