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This reader thinks her brother will keep everything from their parents' will.
Q: We are five kids in the family and my sisters and I think my brother, who’s the executor of my parents’ will, will find a way to take everything. How can we protect ourselves?
—Trina
A: Trina, you think your parents’ estate executor may be “somewhat shady”? Is the executor bankrupt, dishonest, a criminal or incompetent? These situations all require different responses.
You must respect your parents’ decision unless there are reasons not to. They choose their executor. I assume this decision was made with a lawyer’s help. So here is what you need to know to protect yourself.
Executors are fiduciaries. They are entrusted to put the interest of the estate before their own. They are required to act honestly and have duties that I will describe. Unfortunately, many trustees lack the skills or knowledge they need.
I tell executors to follow an easy-to-use mantra to administer an estate. Executors need to:
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My brother did not contact me or my adult kids or my uncle when my father passed away….or about the funeral a couple of days later. I found out when I made my usual call to the facility he was in. (previously I had looked after him for at least 4 winters after my mother passed away although it meant leaving my home province to do so) Almost a yr later I learn that I am a trustee of the will with him. He lives in the same province as my parents did. I live 3 over. After being contacted by a law firm he has hired I made contact several times and have listed assets I am aware of. The partner in that firm has not acknowledged snail mail, or directions in 2 emails …specifically that at his convenience I wished to speak with him by phone. I had cleared with an associate that they are working for the estate…well now so am I, right? Have waited over a month for some kind of paperwork I need to sign etc since I stated that I would remain a trustee as my father wished. Is this behavior acceptable?
I need help with estate executor
What can I do if I don’t want to go give my brother who is the executor my address nor do the grand children want to as it has been a real problem with him so as we have all moved over the years we have never given him new address.
My mom recently passed away. She had a living trust. There are 3 Beneficiaries one of which is executor . My mom’s house is in the trust. The sister that is executor has taken it upon herself ,to use the house and garages as her personal cabin and storage .The other 2 were never given a key or asked if the executor and her family could even use the house. My understanding is the house belongs to the trust, until it is sold, no one has the right to use it or be in it . Is this true or not
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
My brother, the executor for my mom, stole from her sole beneficiary my father. He had immediately became my fathers POA and has all of the life insurance policies left to my father in an an account that my father doesn’t know exists. He is spending this money as he wishes but apparently he has the power to do that because my father won’t go against his son, however, this is money that would have been divided between all of the children and apparently when my father dies, whatever is in this account will all go to him. He will become my fathers executor as well, I will then become a beneficiary and have no doubt history will repeat itself. I have videos that prove he is stealing but if I do anything that will get my brother in trouble, my father will be against me. Can I use the information I have when my father dies, to prove that he is a thief? I’m out of money, I already had to hire an attorney when he, the trustee of the family trust, refused to give me an accounting.
Response from the MoneySense editorial team:
Hello Matthew, thank you for your question.
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
My late father left the 3 of us ‘kids’ as his Executors. My sister signed herself off. On the day my father died, 3 years ago, my brother age 60 who had been living with him all his life, against Dad’s wishes by the way, became very anxious at how he would survive now, and had a nervous breakdown. He spent 3 weeks in the Psychiatric Unit of a Hospital. The Psychiatrist, who has now left, told me brother was Schizophrenic. I told the Estate Lawyer this. His response was ‘be careful’. Brother continues to live in Dads house and refuses to pay Utility Bills or look after the property. He keeps harrassing me for money to pay these things. I told him, I dont live there and the expenses are for what YOU have been using. I told him I want to sell the house and so does sister. But he refuses to sign. And continues living there. To get him removed as Executor costs $20,000 and Lawyer says we should just keep paying for him to live there and try to persuade him to someday sell up. Neither one of us can afford to support our brother. He wont get help. He wont go to work. And lives of the $40,000 he got from Dad after he died. Suggestions?
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
Hello My gramps died 8years ago and at first I was told by my aunt (say I is the executor) that their was something left for me. I never saw the will and 8years later when I need help in told different stories but basically it’s in a trust that my mom put for me from her own share (because now it was only divided by 4daughters no body else) and was told no because I’m the black sheep and basically I have to be in a position to have it and. I’m not now in their eyes. How much would it be to send a letter asking for to see if my name is in fact mentioned on the will and if so steps to retrieve this? Or is their a way for me to see if my name is on a will on my own,? Forget the executor its my aunt and she won’t tell me nothing
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
My brother has been trying to sell his house for a couple of years now, but he had no bites. He is the executor of my Mother’s will, I have not seen the will, just recently we have found out that he sold his house but the buyer wanted all th land that we owned to go along with the house, so my brother sold it, approximately 80 acres without consulting the rest of us, because he wanted to sell his house I think he sold the land for less than what it was worth. Can he sell this land without consulting the rest of us about the price
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
This question for lawyers that practice inheritance law.
Q: What do you do if you don’t trust the family lawyer who’s the executor of a will? This is the scenario, (Paraphrasing) a friend’s father passed away and left to be the beneficiary he’s the only living son and his grandmother who is the deceased father’s mother, who’s now recently passed away this year, she had a copy of the will as the courthouse. My friend couldn’t find the will going through his grandmother’s home.
The family lawyer said, to get a duplicate copy of the will from the courthouse he had to pay a fee to get a copy to have my buddy, the bank, and the court clerk signature. As it got to the last part of transferring the inheritance funds to his bank account, my buddy cousin had contacted him and shared with him that his father my buddy uncle of his disease dad’s brother, had recently passed away caused by COVID-19. He had found the missing will in his dad’s safety deposit box. My buddy had met up with the lawyer and shared the good news. given the will to the family lawyer. The lawyer went to the courthouse and had told Clark what had happened, the clerk says, ”now that you have the original will you have to pay another fee change everything before making the final transfer with the bank.”
Please help me to understand this picture! because the original will was not found and had to get a duplicate copy of the will, what difference does it make? My buddy says, ”it’s been two years and the executors are not followed an easy-to-use mantra to administer an estate.
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
Hi I need help with my mother’s will I don’t know how to start with this I am o
.d.s.p
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
Does the executor have the right to move in the estate before its sold? Does he have to let others in the will know if he moves in?
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
So I have a concern that the will my dad made could very well not be the original one, it’s my parents friend Dave that is the executive, he’s not a long time friend, and my dad made it so I wouldn’t get anything from his estate, I am and have been a beneficiary for years, so the executive isn’t supposed to get my dads house right?
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with a qualified advisor.
My mother passed away in 2017 and left a will leaving her partner (Dorian) at the time as executive of her will along with Kings Court Trust. He is also a beneficiary with 40% of my mums estate going to him and 40% to me then 5% each between my 3 uncles and Nan. In the will it clearly states that if Dorian didn’t take a vested interest in the will control as executive was to go to my uncle and also his share to go to me as I’m her only child and she wasn’t married. Both Dorian and KCTRUST have not been doing their jobs properly and none of the beneficiaries have been kept updated, if it wasn’t for me chasing the Soliciter up we wouldn’t know anything. It has also been proven that Dorian is not keeping it contact which is causing delays all the time as he has the final day about decisions like offers on sale of property. How long does he have to be inactive and incommunicado before he gets removed as executive and like said in the will duty passed to my uncle. Also I have evidence of unprofessional conduct by KCTRUST they don’t seem willing to accept that he’s not being an executive and things need to be resolved without waiting for him all the time to respond when and when he feels. What should we do
What are considered reimbursable expenses that can be claimed by an executer/ POA of a will and family trust? My parent recently passed away and I am wondeing if it is reasonable for the executor to rent an air B&B. Plane tickets for his wife. Dog kennel expense and milage to attend the funeral? I thought the reimbursement was strickly for expenditures direclty related to the administration of the estate?
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
My father recently passed and had a trust and a Will. He had five kids who are all beneficiaries I am presuming. The oldest brother is the executor but he is being really shady and secretive, emptying the house of items before the beneficiaries get a chance to take a look. it’s been a month since my dad passed and the executor will not tell me the attorneys name or contact information. So many secrets and o information given to 3 of the 5 kids/beneficiaries.
I called the county to see if they had anything on record and they do not.
What can I do?
We’re very sorry to hear about your loss. Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
My sister is the executor of my mother’s estate. My mother sold her business before she passed. The monthly payments for the business started a couple of years after she passed. My sister is recovering the payments. Does she have a legal obligation to distribute the payments evenly among her siblings?
We appreciate this question and invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with your financial institution or a qualified advisor.
My sister and brother were the executors of my mothers estate my sister had planned to have her son buy our mothers home which none of us new about until mom had passed away the house was sold under valued price which we were told it wasn’t is she supporting a conflict of interest being the executor of our mothers will
It’s amazing the amount of people getting deceived by their families. It’s disgusting. I’m about to be dealing with the same stuff from my abusive narcissist brother.
live in BC one out of five siblings was the sole executor and also received everything no provisions made to the other four siblings. Deceased father taken from hospital relocated and within 5 days his previous Will was revoked and changes were made to provide only to the one sibling. No probate where do we go from here…upset siblings!! He passed away 5 months after leaving the hospital and abandoning his home, contents, friends and family members. Please someone help us!!
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with a qualified advisor.
My brother died last year in nova scotia. There is 8 brothers and sisters left. I not in that province. Will says to divided between after everything is paid of. The house he lived in appears to he own by one of my brothers and my oldest brother who is the executor. And it appears the other brother is beniefiacy of the investments. This brother hired a lawyer. My oldest brother when he sent a letter to me in dec. Did not say he own the house. So my 2csister and 2 other brothers have hired a lawyer see if there can put the house back into the estate and the investments. Can I do anything. I not close to siblings.
Due to the large volume of comments we receive, we regret that we are unable to respond directly to each one. We invite you to email your question to [email protected], where it will be considered for a future response by one of our expert columnists. For personal advice, we suggest consulting with a qualified advisor.
My Uncle passed away in December 23 2021. I am the closest relative and was listed as emergency contact. The lawyers here were quite sure that if I didn’t find a will I was the clear beneficiary of his estate. Then while digging through a stack of scrap paper from his desk I found an old business card from Montreal Trust which has now been purchased by Scotiabank Trust and he had named Montreal Trust as executor. My Uncle’s house was my Grandparents old house and now I am afraid they are just going to toss things they think are junk which might be of sentimental value to me. I was sort of looking forward to going through everything myself and spending time with it. There is a lock of my Grandmother’s hair when it was still auburn for instance… that will go in the garbage. A set of dishes we used to use on holidays when we went & visited. I was looking forward to playing a game of pool on the pool table with my husband, where I used to play with my Grandparents and parents. Running my fingers over the piano keys on the old piano in the basement. The artwork on some of the walls were paintings and drawings the my mother did. I want to re-read all the letters and cards and go through the photos. I am kind of mad at my Uncle for doing this. He made up the will in 1968. I am the only one left in the family, so outside of some funds he was giving to charity if his parents had passed away ,(and I am ok with that, they are good charities, there is going to be no fights amongst family members as to who gets what. I am it. Now we have 15 days in a hotel that we don’t need. (I reside in a different city). We thought we needed this time to clean the house.
Hello I need info! My Mom passed away & her & my dad had/have a will together. My sister is POA/Exacator. My sister sold my parents property & my dad wants to roll over the money from his property to buy another place to live. My Dad is 91 years old & doctor said he should not be left alone & is now living with me, I quit my job so he would not have to go into a nursing home because he is still doing OK, just a little wobbly when walking & forgets to eat & take his meds! So 24/7 care the doc said! Now my sister is giving him a fit because she don’t want him to buy a place big enough for him & I. My place now is not big enough & he hasn’t got his own room, which me & 2 other siblings fell like our Dad should. I am sending away for my mom’s will beings our sister won’t let us see the will. Our sister is acting like our dad is already dead! What can us siblings do?
Hello I’m Robert ward and I’m waiting for my inheritance my uncle has not been cooperative he’s the execture he has lied the house has been sold he has giving my brother and I only partial of the inheritance and made us sign something so we can’t sue him over the partial inheritance we have been waiting for a while he hasnt told us anything nor has he showed us any reciepts or what he has payed for we have asked multiple times what is going on we haven’t even seen him for 8 months he has almost made us lose the sale of the house bieng sold the buyers told us he has sent a letter saying we didnt want to move which was a lie what am I able to do to get my inheritance so I can be done with him I havwjt even grieved my mother’s death I’v had to take care of my brother and his girlfriend because they dont have any more money and they lost thier jobs im barely getting by and cant even think about myself I’m stuck
My brother died in Quebec Canada one year and 1/2 ago. He had a profitable surveying company located in Costa Mesa, CA in USA. I assume he gave his girlfriend power of attorney to his entire estate which is quite lucrative. My brother sent me a copy of his Will and funeral arrangements documents years ago, however it’s entirely in French, since it was prepared in Quebec Canada. My brother is American but lived in Quebec where his girlfriend lives. Bert my deceased brother didn’t want to leave any money to his two kids or to his two ex-wives. I am his only sibling that called him and visited him so I’m not sure how he felt about me receiving anything from his estate, however, I feel angry towards Bert’s girlfriend for mishandling Bert’s fortune after his death. She wants to honor his legacy by using all his available estate moneys to continue to run his company, even though Bert cannot oversee the business operations. As a result, the managing director Manny is his name, apparently helped himself to more money then he earned, and wasn’t showing up for work for days on end. This person took total advantage of the situation and stole money from Bert’s accounts. Thus not properly taking care of the company, causing lawsuit(s) against the company.
After I learned about this, I was devastated. Why did bert’s girlfriend let strangers or non family have complete control of Bert’s money? As a result, these people who should have kept the company going, caused it to collapse because of their neglect and stealing company money.
I told Suzanne Bert’s girlfriend, to SELL the company immediately after Bert died. She said no and wanted to honor Bert’s legacy by keep it running. She trusted those people with Bert’s legacy and see what happened…they totally screwed it over and ran it into the ground!
Can I challenge Suzanne and make her sell Bert’s company before the employees steal everything?
I hate to see my brother Bert’s legacy go down like this.
Thank you.
My mother went downhill very quickly, and my parents wanted to update the will the old executor didn’t want the responsibility so they called on my brother, which was fine with me until I found out that apparently he made all the grandkids lose 40 grand a piece and the house that I’ve basically paid for with the help of my parents I wasn’t going to inherit anymore and he said he would refuse to be the executor unless they changed these things my parents explained it to me because I think they want me to contest the will. I just need to know if it was shady of him to put pressure on them to change the will my daughter had a conversation with her Uncle and he admitted it she actually recorded him He said he wouldn’t be the executor unless these things were changed. Also, my dad said the estate lost a lot of money doing it the way my brother wanted
I’m heir to 25% of my aunts estate. I’m not executor my aunts caregiver is. My aunt had dementia and was took over by this woman. She gets half and my son gets 25 %. She has done nothing but hire her money hungry son to handle everything . Well I know my aunts estate after auction and including money was over 300,000. There was insurance policy’s. Two small ones and one large one my son got. Needless to say they were mad. I believe they have stolen money and done other illegal stuff. I don’t trust them. I haven’t got to see the bank books and so far I’ve received about 45,000. Now there’s a lawsuit going on now. They say some money is kept in the bank for expenses on that lawsuit. Shouldn’t the estate be settled by now it’s been about 2 years my aunt died. The lawyer for the executor thinks her son is handling things nicely. He wants 18000 for all the research of finding insurance policy’s he’s done. He’s out for my aunt’s money. He’s only been in her life last 6 months She was almost 90 he wants her money. In the will if anyone argues about the will they get a dollar. My aunt would not do that me. She was mislead and abused by this woman. I feel helpless just waiting for my inheritance. No one tells me anything. Much advice needed Thanks
I’m the only living daughter of my dad and he passed away a year ago and he told me that I was getting my uncles place and there are 2 places.and I was on the gsi site and I noticed that the deeds have changed and I notice that the people up the road from my dads is beneficiary of one of my uncles place and that’s what they was wanting, she is the executor of the trust as far as I know and my stepmom has hated me ever since she married my dad and this girl is her friend and she’s no kin to either side. So is there anything I can do about it. I know my real mom and dad talked and he told her if it doesn’t turn out the way it’s suppose to then she is to fight with me. My dad was blind and his wife left him alright by himself and they have a tri-level house he could of fell down steps and hurt himself and she caused him and slaped him on the arm at the last days she told my mom and me I thought he had money that’s what other people told her and her daughter told me I wish my mom would have been more honest with your dad but she wouldn’t tell me I think she was a gold digger. Is there anything I can do?
My sister and children moved in with her live in partner and since then only talked negatively to family members including my step grandfather about our father wasn’t financially astute for years. I don’t know if she spoke about me in such a way but my grandfather and I became estranged also in his last few years of life. He refused help from my dad and me.
In 2018, My sister’s partner arranged for a will maker to call on my grandad to redraft the will. The will stated my sister to be executor and she was the main beneficiary and the other beneficiaries will not inherit a fair amount.
Since my grandfather passed, my sister married her partner and claims she is losing her mental capacity to be executor. My feelings? Such a pity but there is nothing we can do now. I want to express the importance of listening to gut instinct and asking questions before it’s too late.
I need help getting my husbands will since the POA refused to take my phone number She said it’s mot necessary also wouldn’t let me go visit him in palliative care I saw him in hospital a month before he passed He didn’t refuse my visit
im the culprit when it comes to being the older brother id like to make sure there sucer in some way if anything mabye i shouldnt just let it be i guess mabye im not right for the position i rely on ai and im not sure i should if anything mabye im really not a bad brother or some sort a stunt like i never seen before what if im an angel to get what and where they want us ? mabye i should back down and not expect anything but be positive even if you are chicken mabye i should not worry so much and carry on with my patatos and just live how i live eh if not then you can dig up what i left behind in my gravee ok so there thats that then quite fighting for now and catch your breath eh