Embracing the Swedish death cleaning trend

Let’s explore Swedish death cleaning, including what not to leave your kids, tips for potentially tricky family conversations, and how to handle all that unwanted stuff.

What is Swedish death cleaning?

It’s not as morbid as it sounds; in fact, it’s quite liberating. Swedish death cleaning is about simplifying your life and reducing the burden on your loved ones. The idea is to sort through your belongings, keep only what’s necessary and meaningful, and let go of the rest. This process can be therapeutic, and it offers us a chance to reflect on what truly matters to us and what we value. 

Some of the benefits are immediate. By reducing clutter, we can create a more comfortable and streamlined living environment and improve our overall well-being. (Plus, we might unearth a few things we forgot that we own.) Swedish death cleaning encourages us to reduce consumption and stop buying stuff we don’t need. It can also help us prepare to downsize to a smaller home. And it can strengthen family bonds by sparking meaningful conversations with loved ones about what possessions to pass on to future generations. 

Many Canadians first heard about the concept via media coverage of a book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter (Scribner, 2018). Its author, Margareta Magnusson, is a senior herself. In 2023, Peacock, an American streaming platform, released a reality series based on the book, produced and narrated by Amy Poehler.

What to consider not leaving to your kids

When it comes to passing down family heirlooms, consider what your kids will truly want and use. 

Barry Gordon, CEO of Gordon’s Downsizing and Estate Services in Kingston, Ont., says, “We often see people who want their family to have something for their reasons.” While some items may hold sentimental value for you, they might not have the same significance for the next generation. “Consider the gift from the receiver’s perspective,” says Gordon. 

To avoid burdening your children with unwanted possessions, let’s dive into some common items that are better off being repurposed, donated or sold, rather than passed down.

1. Furniture: Your kids might not have the space or the taste for that massive oak dining table, antique armoire and bulky recliner. And if they have a partner, the two may not agree on moving your furniture into their home. 
2. Crystal and china: While these items might hold sentimental value, they often end up collecting dust. Younger generations tend to prefer more practical and less fragile items. 
3. Old electronics: That vintage VCR or giant home theatre system might have been cutting-edge once, but will your kids really want to keep it? Or are you saddling them with figuring out how to recycle these items responsibly?

You may have other items and categories in mind, but no matter what they are, the same tip applies: Instead of assuming your kids will want it, ask first. Maybe they would appreciate 1970s crystal?! 

Starting the conversation—and how to respond to “no” 

Now that you’ve sorted through your belongings and decided what to keep, it’s time to talk to your kids about what they might want to inherit. This can be a delicate topic—many people feel uncomfortable about discussing death. But with a little preparation and a positive attitude, you can make the conversation a productive, meaningful and even enjoyable experience. Here are a few tips:

1. Be honest: Explain why you’re raising the topic and how talking about it will benefit everyone in the long run. 
2. Be open: Encourage your kids to be honest about what they’d like to keep. “Check to see who wants what, then give what you think is fair … rather than assuming they will want what you leave,” says Gordon. After all, he adds, it’s better to know now than to leave them with a houseful of stuff they don’t need.
3. Be light-hearted: If your kids are reluctant to talk, use humour to lighten the mood. You could say something like, “I know you’ve always dreamed of inheriting my collection of ceramic frogs, but it’s OK to say no.”

Even with these positive intentions in mind, you might feel disheartened if, after you’ve mustered up the courage to offer your kids that antique vase or your collection of vintage postcards, they politely (or not so politely) decline. Remember, it is not a reflection of their love for you. It’s just that their tastes and needs might be different. Let’s explore some gracious ways to handle a “no” and keep the conversation positive.​ 

1. Stay positive: Thank them for their honesty and reassure them that it’s OK. Avoid pressuring or pushing. Sometimes kids will accept an item out of guilt or a sense of obligation, but that’s not the feeling you want to impart.
2. Find alternatives: Suggest other ways to keep memories alive, like brainstorming ideas on who else might want the item, or sharing a story about the item’s significance before selling or donating it.
3. Move on: Focus on the items your kids do want and make a plan for the rest. It will not help anyone if you keep asking the child who responded “no” if they’re sure of their answer.

Tips for handling unwanted stuff 

So, you’ve decided to embrace Swedish death cleaning and now you’re staring at a mountain of stuff that your kids don’t want. You’re not alone. Many of us have accumulated a large amount of treasures (or what we thought were treasures) over the years. But fear not, there are plenty of ways to handle these unwanted items without resorting to sneaking them into your kids’ homes when they’re not looking. 

1. Donate: Many organizations, such as thrift stores and non-profits that serve newcomers to Canada, will gladly take furniture, clothing and household items in good condition. It’s a great way to give back to your community. Make sure to call the organization first to confirm that it’s currently accepting donations and can accept what you plan to donate.
2. Sell: Online marketplaces, like eBay, Facebook Marketplace or local classifieds, can help you find new homes for your items and make a little extra cash. For ideas and safety tips, read MoneySense’s article “How to make money selling stuff online.” Always meet buyers in a public place, and never give out your banking information.  
3. Repurpose: Get creative and turn old items into something new. An old ladder can become a bookshelf, or a vintage suitcase can be transformed into a quirky coffee table. A word of caution, though: repurposing can become addictive. There is no piece of furniture that is safe in my house anymore!

Why Swedish death cleaning is so good

Swedish death cleaning is a thoughtful way to declutter your life and make things easier for your loved ones. By understanding the importance of checking in with our kids and having conversations about what they may want to keep, you can ensure that your legacy is one of love and practicality, not clutter. Successful Swedish death cleaning done with your estate plan in mind can help streamline the process of distributing your assets, ensuring that your wishes are honoured and your loved ones are not burdened with unnecessary decisions at a difficult time. So, start the conversation, embrace the trend and enjoy the peace of mind that comes with a well-organized life.

Read more about estate planning:

• Can transferring ownership of a house help avoid probate tax?
• Do I need a tax lawyer to prepare my estate?
• Don’t squander your legacy
• Estate planning for singles—is a trust company the answer?
• Inheritances can strain sibling relationships—how to make estate planning smoother

About Debbie Stanley, TEP, MTI

Debbie Stanley is an estate and trust professional, and CEO of the estate firm ETP Canada. She is a writer, speaker and regularly featured guest on Zoomer Radio.

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